Just a random thought about my life

-I am one of those people who likes to try to write the script of how my life should be. Nothing happened the way I thought it should or want it to happen, but I could not have written the way the story has played out any better than it is-

This is the status update I just posted on facebook in reflection of how my life has been so far. I mean it really has been a great ride with many ups and major downs. It is sort of funny to see how the thoughts and ideas I had as a child have revealed themselves to me. At this very moment, I am just happy with life :)

Cleaning out some mess

Man today is actually a cool ass day. I know it has been awhile since I have posted on how I am doing as an actual person. I am loving life to the utmost right now. No it doesn't mean I am on an emotional high and now it doesn't mean that my life is perfect, it just means I am in love with my life and that's about that. I have made a few trips to the Philippines and have found a new culture I truly enjoy being in. I am currently in the market to get a condo there, so you know your boy is trying to make the right moves. One of the best moves that I am making (one that really helps benefit my mindset) is getting rid of the people in my life who don't help me grow to be better than I am. The most recent is a huge weight off my chest because this kat was more of a negative than a positive. No sense in putting it all out there because I don't like to down people, but real talk I am just happy that I was able to get what info I could from this kat, because I would not be able to to have made some moves without that info, but I am happy to move on and lean on this kat the way I used to. Just not taking that poison anymore.

Redirecting my focus

I have really been all over the place lately. Today I just really wanted to be focus and figure out what I really want to do with my life. Even if it goes against the norm the next few years of my life will be prep for photography and Asian languages.

The magazine that is haunting me.

The above picture haunts me. I bought this magazine when it first came out and I have yet to read it. I just saw it and thought that it would be a good read, but truth be told there was just a feeling I got when I saw it that wasn't made clear to me until 2 days later. I sat the magazine to the side and decided not to read it because there was just something about it, that struck me as puzzling yet heartwarming. I know, I am a sap right? Anyways, after deciding not to read it I took it to work to share with co-workers and people that come to relax in our lounge and thought I would rid myself of the muse of my puzzling mindset. But soon found it there to create the same reaction that it did when I first purchased it.

That is when it hit me, it was her. The cover look a little bit about a woman who fills my mind with wonder. The feeling was fear because I haven't done what I can to pursue this woman and the wonder was in the fact that by look alone I want to be a better person in hopes that it makes her better. There are too many emotions to express, but I swear one day I will make the right move.... I hope!

This is her

Something about me...

I just realized my last few post have been videos, nothing really about me just random viral videos, lol. So here is an update on my life. I am coming off of my vacation in Bangkok. This time I went easy on the partying and I really explored the city. I could go on and on about the city, but I will just say that I think I have a new home. I will do all I can to work there. I am currently in a state of mind where I am passionately driven to do some things and complete others.

I am also a bit caught up in this woman I met a few years back. Not really in the way one would think as if I am falling for her or something that deep, but I am fascinated by her or at least what she says. Her words are just very believable and that is rare to find in a woman. Liddell (here name) I really want to learn more about you just on the level of friendship, but I have to pump the brakes on the thought, because the idea I have of you, I dread to have that ruined.

Anyways, I have put the camera down for a little bit. I have stitches in my mouth at the moment so I don't want any evidence of the immense drooling I am forced to do. I already ripped a few stitches out as well; on the day I was a vampires dream for kissing, I really lost a lot of blood.

So that is enough for the catch up on my life. Got to take care of some business.

What a night

So a lot of people don't know that at the moment I have stiches in my mouth. I am beginning to think that I talk to much because tonight I popped a few stiches. I couldn't even tell; I was just talking with a friend and then I tasted blood in my mouth. Once I felt the blood gushing from my mouth I knew what had happened. It was freaking hot as hell (the blood) so I knew this meant I was going to have to go to the hospital. So I get rushed to the post hospital and they have to call in a dentist to stop the bleeding and stich me back up. I had lost a great deal of blood so I was a little out of it, but I gave my iPhone to my friend Angelo so we could docuement this properly. The funny thing is that through the whole thing Angelo and I were talking, while I was bleeding, while I was dizzy, while I was getting stiched back up. I just wouldn't shut up. Here are some pics....

The sink I was bleeding over. Blood was everywhere

This was the worse part.

Angelo taking a pic of me getting worked on

I love these commercials

Hotel Hermit in Thailand

So I am stuck in my hotel here in Bangkok at the moment. I have stitches in my mouth and my lips are swollen so life sort of blows right now. Especially because there is a pretty young thing who I want to kick it with but I can't let here see me like this. Damn I can't wait to get these things out of my mouth and her into it, lol.

My life at 26... 4 days before my birthday

I am always amazed at what I learn from a good book, a well composed album, or a well directed movie. At the moment I am watching "Revolutionary Road" (Leo is damn good in it) and my mind is damn near at a point of pure clarity about what to do in life. Watching this movie really shows the struggle people and couples face today, I mean how do you really seek what you want in life and how do you obtain it when life throws its curve ball (s) at you? One of the biggest curve balls life has thrown at me.... well man that is a long story one that I am really not ready to see written out before me, but the outcome of it has given me another chance to go at life on my own and when I look at it find my own way in life. Though I don't have this all figured out just yet, one thing from my personal curve ball that I have figured out is that while you have the chance to do it on your own live your life and pursue your dreams. Don't give up on those dreams for nothing other than to make way for a bigger dream of your own, no one else but your own.

I will write about that curve ball another time.

All the Colors mixed together to Grey

Okay I think I need a drink. But lets face it living in Kuwait proves that to be a task in itself to achieve. I sort of feel like be grey for a little bit. This walking on either side of the street really just sucks at the moment. Either I am on the black side where I am in it for the rush and living for the moment or I am on the white side where I try to be the perfect gentleman or the white knight. I am just tired of my yin yang persona when it comes to women. I just want to be grey just for awhile, avoiding the attacks from the other side when I stay on one side for to long. And I am tired of thinking of all of this sappy shit as well. damn you white side.

War of the Mannies'

So I am trying to figure this out here. This thing called life and these thoughts, emotions, and feelings we have. Real talk sometimes the reality of what I am faced with when it coems to women and what I hope for are so different and so blurred I just want to shut down and not think. Be the international playboy or be the everlasting romantic that I try to surpress. On the day to day I have a fight with myself and at the end of the fight with both me's lying on the ground I only have one resolve. As my both John Mayer says, "This heart didn't come with instructions". Does this shit even make sense?

Mannie